Sexual Health

Talking to Your Doctor About Sex

Sharing details about your most intimate sexual questions can feel awkward. Some people are less comfortable divulging this type of personal information.

Maybe you have a sexual problem like pain during sex. Maybe you want information about how to orgasm with a partner. Maybe you want to check you are STI-free.

To get answers, you’ve scoured the internet and talked to your partner, but your attempts have been unsuccessful so far.

Whatever is on your mind regarding your sex life, a doctor is a great resource for information. A doctor can be a trusted ally for your best sex life. Here a few things to keep in mind when talking to your doctor about sex:

Embrace your awkward

You might feel like the least smooth person in the world talking about a sexual problem, but you are doing great. Don’t feel pressure to have the perfect response or ask the perfect question. You don’t need that pressure. Embrace your awkward and remember these conversations are different for every individual. There is no one way they are supposed to go.

Be honest

There is no reason to worry what your doctor thinks about you when you share information regarding your sex life. Patient-provider conversations are confidential and nonjudgmental.

When you’re honest about your sex life, like number of partners, type of sex you enjoy, etc., your doctor can provide the most helpful information for you to stay healthy and keep sex fun.

If possible, research beforehand

If you are curious about symptoms, it’s great to research beforehand for several reasons.

  1. When you have information about your health, you can better communicate with your doctor about what might be concerning you;
  2. When have information, you can better advocate for yourself, including using medically accurate language;
  3. By taking care of the basic questions before your appointment, it allows time for more specific questions with your doctor that you might not be able to find online.

Prioritize your questions

It’s great to have questions for your doctor, but you may not be able to get to all of them. Prioritize the most important ones and ask those first during your appointment.

You can always follow up with your provider, but you deserve to walk out feeling satisfied with information and clear steps moving forward.

Don’t be afraid to ask

No one knows everything about anything, including sex. Every sexual encounter, including those with an ongoing partner, can be drastically different so there is always more to learn.

Approach your own sex life with curiosity. There really aren’t any dumb questions when it comes to your health. How does this work? Is this normal? Why does this exist?

There’s no point holding back a question in fear of sounding inexperienced or uninformed. If you don’t know something, so many other people don’t know either, so don’t be afraid to ask!

Know your body

Yes, doctors are experts in their field, but you are the expert of your body. Trust yourself. If you think something doesn’t feel right, speak up.

Remember you are awesome

Every person is different when it comes to sexual preference, including type of sexual intercourse, stimulation, and gratification. Whatever type of sex you enjoy is awesome, as long as you are staying safe and healthy. Own what you like and talk confidently about it. There is no reason to go into a doctor’s appointment feeling ashamed or nervous.

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